A Hollow a Day, Drives One Away
by PhantomCreator
Summary: A collection of funny one shots. With Ichigo and his Inner Hollow. Without giving too much, it's best to see what happens for yourself
1. Who gave you candy?

**HELLO NEW READERS! OKAY ...so the idea of this started a couple years back or so I wrote a really funny and short story with Ichigo and his Hollow and it even made me die of laughter so; I wanted to make a series of short stories with the two of them who doesn't love dorky Ichigo and his crazy Hollow? XD I'm going to do some that are seasonal and some that are just at random. My other story Dark Side of the Black Moon will be put off for one week so I can get more ahead on future chapters for it. So for now, enjoy, and laugh...hopefully**

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Another morning, another day to get ready for school. Rinse and repeat. Not that it bothered Ichigo, he didn't mind it too much. But he does get bored every other day or so. But it doesn't help when sometimes a certain someone gets _so bored_ he starts talking in his mind. He'd rather put up with his father's jump and surprise attacks sometimes rather than talk to the Hollowfied version of his weapon, which, is harder to deal with. How can one make someone who's a sarcastic, sadistic version of themselves shut the hell up?

His Hollow, of course.

But since the night before this morning, he'd been quiet. Thank God, Ichigo thought to himself. And a plus, his dad didn't try to attack him after he woke up. Bonus points, right? But he knew it wouldn't last for long. After getting ready and dressed he took his school bag downstairs, and along with is Soul Badge he went for breakfast.

But that's when his mind went blank. He was at the top of the stairs, next thing he sees, is himself at the bottom of the staircase flat down.

"What the hell?" He moaned.

"Brother!"

Yuzu ran to him and began to help him up,

"Are you alright?"

"I think so, I just feel weird."

"What you screamed out loud was even weirder." Yuzu commented.

"What do you mean? I didn't yell."

"I didn't hear all of it, but you sounded really overexcited and screamed "FINALLY!" before you fell down the stairs."

Was that true? He didn't remember or feel hitting the floor!

"Well, sorry I freaked you out." Ichigo said to her sincerely.

"Then again, the existence of weird is always in this household."

"Not gonna argue with that."

"Come and eat before you're late for school."

As he ate, he'd glance at Yuzu who was cleaning up and storing the decorations for Halloween they owned and ready for next year. They got a lot of kids and adults ringing their door bell the night before yesterday and received more candy than they could eat. Yuzu offered some of hers to Ichigo, he wasn't too big on sweets but didn't want to hurt her feelings so he took the small bag of what was left from hers. He'd just take awhile in eating them.

X

After lunch had ended, Ichigo started to feel a light headache forming. But brushed it off, thinking it may have been from the fall back at home. Sometimes he was used to getting them after a battle with an opponent and while he recovered, dehydration would be the culprit. Boy, he wished he paid more attention later on.

As a habit he formed, he stared out the window from the classroom when he needed to let his mind wander and take a break from listening to the lecture he teacher gave. Half the time he did it when he heard parts he already knew before hand and didn't bother taking notes so he took the opportunity when it was open.

Tick.

Strange. He thought.

Tick.

Crack.

Tick.

Hearing these sounds, he mistakened it for the clock ticking on the wall on the front of the room. His eye twitched. The sound of the motion and moving of his facial muscle was so loud he jumped in his seat.

Now he was paying attention.

TICK.

The sound wasn't a clock; It was his own hand. It was the flexing of his knuckles and ligaments. It kept twitching like crazy!

He covered it up with his other; and looked to see if anyone noticed, but thankfully no.

What happened next not only made him blush hot red with embarrassment but nearly had a heart attack.

"Man, I FEEL GREAT! WHAT'S UP FELLOW HUMANS?" He shouted.

His mouth just moved on its own will. He smacked his hand against it to prevent anymore talking. Everyone's attention turned to him and giving him strange looks; from shocked, to amused and well; "What the hell?"

"Kurosaki, is there a problem?" The teacher closed her lesson book, raising her brows.

"N-n-no-no! I'm sorry! I was daydreaming." He lied.

After he spouted such a lousy lie like that, he realized he sounded like Orihime. But what made him think about the most was.. why did he do that? He thought it was over, until...he lost control of his legs and the rest of his body...and stood up from his chair.

"Yes. Now since I'm in a good mood, I'll greet everyone. Aren't I nice, king?"

Now everyone had their attention to him. They watched his every move. They watched wide eyed, and confused by his strange new behavior. Ichigo knew they were. But that wasn't entirely the worst of it; He was fully aware of his actions and couldn't do anything about it. Rukia, who was sitting on the opposite side, including his friends knew what was going on within him. Automatically, they felt the presence of his Hollow.

The first person he set his black and yellow eyes on, was Rukia. He sat on her desk smirking a cocky smile;

"Yo, Rukia is it? How are you? I haven't seen you since you beat Ichigo up out of his depression. Good job. He needs a good ass-kicking. Tell me, what are ducks in the real world like? There's a this pond down at the bottom of the side-ways world from where I live and there's not much life much less wildlife there. Do they really float?!"

Ichigo was cursing at him a colorful language only the Hollow could hear but he ignored the teen. He was too pumped up with adrenaline to care.

Unlike him rather than feeling embarrassed, Rukia was a little fearful. She kept her attention on him, prepared and waited to see if he attacked anyone.

"Ichigo, get back into your seat this instant!" The teacher ordered.

Of course he ignored her. Instead he nudged her and jumped on her own desk and started jumping up and down like a 5 year old kid.

"Oh I forgot, this isn't a bed, it's a stone platform humans use when they're too weak to write things and hold it themselves. COOL!"

Rukia had seen enough. She got up from her seat and ran to him and tried to pull him down from the desk. She didn't expect Chad to do the same and started assisting her. He had more luck being able to bring him back to solid ground due to his more than normal human strength. He kicked and struggled against his chest and hold.

"HEY, LET ME GO YOU RETARDED GORILLA! YOU MAY BE ICHIGO'S BEST BUDDY OR BOYFRIEND BUT I'LL STILL BEAT YOU!" He screamed.

"Quickly, get him out of here!" Rukia ordered.

Uryu and Orihime joined in and followed Chad, then Rukia. She grabbed something from the pocket of her skirt: the Chappy Rabbit memory replacement device. She pressed the button and immediately a beam of light engulfed the entire room. She was able to make them forget what happened.

Outside the school building, the Hollow was still in control, but he stopped struggling and calmed down somewhat.

"What was that for? you didn't have to ruin the fun for me!" He pouted.

Rukia was able to come out after getting that job done and stood before him. She found no familiarity in his eyes. She didn't sense any ill will in this Hollow though.

"Ichigo, are you in there?" She asked, a little weary.

"OF COURSE I AM!"

The hollow put one hand over his mouth, that wasn't his voice. That was the main owner's body trying to call out.

"King, piss off! Let me have some fun for once!" He yelled out loud and whipped his arm out, like Ichigo was standing behind him and tried to hit him.

...Now for sure, he looked like he snapped.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET OUT? WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO TAKE OVER LIKE THAT? YOU HAVE ANY CLUE HOW MUCH HUMILATION YOU CAUSED ME? I WILL KILL YOU!"

"I saw an opportunity and took it, no big deal!Chill your panties!"

"THE ONLY TIME I'LL EVER CHILL WITH YOU IS WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER, DUMBASS!"

'OH EXUSE ME THEN, MAYBE IT WAS YOUR FAULT THAT YOU LEFT THOSE SWEET TASTING HUMAN FOODS OUT IN THE OPEN LIKE THAT-

"Wait, WHAT? Sweet tasting food? The hell you mean?"

The Hollow calmed down and relaxed his lungs,

"There was a white bag of sweet food sitting on your dining table. While you were asleep I snuck in a chance to take over and looked around your house and give myself a tour, the first place was your uh-"

He paused, not knowing the name of the room on his mind,

-"Kitchen? is that what you mean?"

"HAHAHA, IT ALMOST SOUNDED LIKE YOU SAID "CHICKEN" WHICH IS WHAT YOU ARE, KING!" He laughed hystically.

"SHUT UP! KEEP continuing what you were telling me!"

"Right, well I looked in there, and the bag, and it smelled interesting so I took a bite of it. As soon as I started I couldn't stop. Then I started getting all giggly and full of energy."

There was no denying it, the Hollow came across his stash of candy.

All his friends listened carefully. They realized they weren't in any danger a little bit ago and were alright with his presence. Orihime chuckled to herself, Uryu looked unamused, Rukia just sighed over and over and rubbed her temple...Chad? Hard to tell, as usual.

Ichigo felt the control of his limbs coming back to him.

"Guess fun's over, see ya." The Hollow waved.

X

When Ichigo arrived home he sure enough, found the plastic bag devoured of any contents left. Still angry from the afternoon he stomped up the stairs and slammed the door to his room. He threw his bag roughly on the desk and landed face first into his bed, pillow in his face.

He went to his inner world. The first person in sight was Zangestu and started pinning his anger at him.

"Where is he? I'll tear him to shreds!"

"Now Ichigo, before you do anything hasty.."

"I DONT CARE, WHERE IS HE ZANGESTU?" He yelled, making his voice echo in the vast world.

The elder spirit sighed. He pointed upwards.

"He's up there somewhere."

Ichigo wasted no second further and jumped. He knew he sucked at feeling and looking for another's presence but this time it wasn't too hard to spot that one particular Hollow's spirit energy. He landed on the building. The white Soul Reaper uniform was impossible to miss.

There he was, passed out, snoring with drool seeping out of his mouth. He was surrounded by candy wrappers. He held one half eaten bar of chocolate in his hand and it was positioned oddly, it appeared he meant to take another bite but may have fallen asleep and didn't reach his mouth to finish it.

Still fuming, Ichigo was about to yell to wake him up...But two seconds later, he no longer has the heart to do so.

For some reason, waking him...just didn't feel right, much less..it'd be disrespectful. If he awoke, he'd risk getting into a fight and possibly injuring the both of themselves and realized he should avoid that.

"If sleeping is what will wear off your energy, then that's what you need." He huffed.

The Hollow no longer slept in a comical position. Now he rolled over to his side and tucked his arms together. For some reason it stuck curiosity in the teen and he sat on his knees, watching.

Was this what this monster looked like when he was in a slumber? He didn't appear as menacing like he knew him to be, and less threatening..more human. His face looked to be in peace for once.

The Hollow unlocked his arms and started to fumble around in search for something...Ichigo for a moment wondered what he was looking for when...he saw the 2nd pillow to his bed a few feet away, and knew what that meant. He got up and picked it up and without disturbing his inner soul, places it within arm's reach. He instantly relaxed and discontinued stirring.

After a minute, the orange haired teen grew bored of watching him and left. He opened his eyes...and started to chuckle. He couldn't place why...maybe because of the fact that whole scenario earlier in the day was formed because someone had too much candy...or...Hollow reminded himself when he'd act hyper when he had too much when he was younger.

He felt good for once in a long time.

THE END

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 **HOW WAS THAT? I JUST WROTE WHATEVER CAME TO MY MIND LOL. Next one will be out sometime soon! Please review!**


	2. Cookie Distaster

**READY FOR PHASE TWO? XD Enjoy ^^ Thanks for the follows and reviews!**

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It was 7 am on a Saturday morning.

Ichigo was still in a deep slumber. The night before he was happy to sleep in and got all his homework done. He didn't have any plans so he decided to relax.

Boy was he wrong.

He could hear the familiar tug of something trying to wake him up.

"Hey...King?" His Hollow whispered.

He shifted and pulled the blanket tighter.

"Wake up."

"Mmmgh! What do you want?" He mumbled.

"I need your help."

"Since when did you need my help? Even so, let it wait."

He was about to fall unconscious again, then...

"You're weaaak." He taunted.

"..."

"Okay...that's it."

Ichigo sat up and shook his head, trying to make his brain more alert.

 _What is it?_ He sent a non-verbal message.

"Just come in here and I'll show you...damn." Hollow scoffed.

 _Fine_

Tiredly he focused his energy into getting his inner world to appear. Now in Soul Reaper form and no longer in his shirt and shorts. He focused his puffy eyes and yawned.

"Where are you? Let's make this quick."

"Over here."

Ichigo turned.

"What is it you want help for so badly-" He stopped.

He saw his Hollow stand a few feet away, avoiding his eyes and was nervous. He wore a bright yellow apron covered in stains over himself. The very sight was not only a shock but made Ichigo start crying with laughter.

"HAHAHAHHAHAHAH, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!" He gripped his torso tightly.

"SHUT UP! I DONT LIKE IT EITHER, CAN WE MOVE ON?"

Pink blush was starting to form on Hollow's face while he gripped his fists to hold himself back at attacking Ichigo and kicking his ass, oh how badly he wanted to.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry! I just...okay not sorry..!" Ichigo began snickering again.

Hollow's sword appeared and he pointed it at the laughing Ichigo.

"You wanna go? 'Coz I'll gladly take that crown right now." He hissed.

His threat didn't scare Ichigo in the slightest. He started to calm down a little.

"You've got my attention.. what do you need?." Ichigo wiped a tear from his eye.

"I got...really bored, so...I started to try making cookies."

Ichigo went stiff.

"What...? You're _baking?"_

"What else is there to do here, other than annoy the shit out of you and Zangestu and stare at the buildings?" He huffed.

"Well, nothing wrong with something new. But now I wanna ask is how the hell are you going to do it here?"

"It's better to show you than explain. Follow me."

Hollow turned and after he did, he heard Ichigo snickering again. Looking at the apron he furiously ripped it off. Holding it in hand, he stomped and made his way.

"Why don't you wear the stupid thing, King?" He snapped.

"No way!" Ichigo laughed.

A moment later, Ichigo watched as Hollow looked in different directions, he went to the left and sat on his knees...and pulled open a window to the building.

"H-how did you do that?"

"There's a lot of things you don't know."

Hollow jumped in. Ichigo ran and looked down into an abyss of darkness.

"You coming in or what, dumbass?" Hollow's voice echoed from below.

Ichigo finally jumped, and two seconds later he hit solid ground. It wasn't as dark as it was outside looking in the window, but there were a few spotlights on the ceiling. He spotted the Hollow further away and followed to a kitchen.

A kitchen was inside Ichigo's world?

"How did you know this was here?"

"I think at some point while being here over time, I just sort of "wished" I could try making something useful, then after awhile, I found it."

"Huh. So it just magically along with fairy dust came to life?" Ichigo tossed his sarcasm.

"Hey, watch it. You'd do the same if you were in my place."

Guilt struck the teen. He was right. Since he wasn't considered a human and only a weapon, what choice did the inner Hollow have?

"Can't believe I'm saying this, but..sorry."

"As if your apology means anything to me."

He wasn't sure if it made him feel better, but he changed the subject,

"Well, do you know how to read a recipe? also where did you get the stuff to make it?" Ichigo wondered.

"Would you be pissed at me that I took over again to get what I needed?" Hollow asked wearily.

"You..what?!" Ichigo shrieked.

"Again chill, princess. I only took what I needed and I was quiet."

"That's not the problem! You took over again without me knowing!" Ichigo yelled.

Hollow rolled his eyes.

"After that stunt you pulled last week, how the hell should you expect me to trust you?"

"Hey, even _I_ learned a lesson; don't eat so much freaking junk food! happy now?" Hollow retorted.

"Alright, I believe you. But you making cookies? It'll just give you another sugar rush."

"What the hell is "sugar?"

"Oh please!" Ichigo threw his arms up.

He clasped the bridge of his nose and one hand on his hip. "Let me show you how this is done."

A little while later Ichigo found himself explaining which ingredients he needed and in what order to blend them in, as well as temperature for the oven. Ichigo didn't expect there to be one. After some time, he actually was enjoying doing this. He hadn't made cookies in a while. It reminded when he and his sisters would bake while their mother at the time watched.

He could tell the Hollow was listening carefully and having fun as well.

After they put the dough on the baking sheets they set the timer.

Ichigo yawned. It was still early in the morning and he hadn't gotten to sleep in. He took a chair by a table and placed his arms on it.

"Wake me when they're done."

"Sure." Hollow didn't look at him but stared at the cookies through the oven glass window.

Ichigo instantly fell asleep.

It wasn't long before white hands were shaking him to wake up.

"HEY, KING! uh.. little problem!"

Ichigo snapped his eyes open and glared at the Hollow.

"What is it now?"

"I don't know! You tell me!" Hollow panicked.

Hollow took Ichigo's head and turned him into the direction of the oven. Which was strangely glowing! Ichigo pushed aside the sleepiness...and started to panic as well.

"It just started doing that two minutes ago and there's a light getting brighter inside!"

The machine began to shake violently.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO IT?" Ichigo yelled and pulled Hollow's collar.

"NOTHING, I SWEAR!"

The light became brighter, to the point it was blinding.

Hollow wrapped his arms around Ichigo and fearfully ushered "Mommy!"

 **-KABOOOM-**

All of their senses were blinded and deafened as the building collapsed into a massive puff of smoke and dust. The inner world shook and trembled. Shockwaves were sent from where the boys were and hit several windows of other buildings, breaking them.

After the dust settled Ichigo and Hollow sat comepltely stunned and dumb folded. For a minute they tried to wrap thier minds on what just happened.

But then the two turned to look at each other and glared angrily, next thing that happened was fists being thrown at each other

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Ichigo shouted.

"MY FAULT? YOU SHOULD'VE PAID MORE ATTENTION!" Hollow hollered back.

"OH HOW ABOUT NEXT TIME, LET ME SLEEP ON A WEEKEND INSTEAD OF HELPING!"

The two began to wrestle and pull each other's hair out. They continued to scream and yell.

Zangestu, not too far away watched from the start of the explosion to seeing the two arguing teens tearing each other apart, but not to the point where their lives were in any danger. And that was just it, _they weren't in danger now and were alive, so how could they be fighting?_ Zangestu though.

A headache was starting to purge its way into Zangestu's temple. He had enough.

" **SILENCE!** " He roared.

He didn't even have to try very hard to earn their attention, it worked. And a little too well..the two boys stopped their brawling and next thing they did was hug each other in fear of the sword spirit.

"Ichigo...Hollow...I'll explain why there was an explosion; it was simply because Ichigo's spiritual pressure was too much for the oven to handle and overheated."

"Oh.." Both said at once.

Now seeing they were clinging to each other like little kids being scared of a furious parent, they let go. Folding their arms, they refused to look each other in the face, embarrassed and ashamed.

Ichigo knew they couldn't stay like that forever.

"I'm sorry for yelling." Ichigo sighed, all irritation had vanished from his face.

He was already guilty for being an ass earlier to his Hollow, and this made it worse.

"I'm sorry for not considering you were exhausted." Hollow's voice gargled and vibrated into the air. "I should've let you rest."

"No, it's fine. Even you need help sometimes."

Ichigo stood up and patted off the dust from his uniform.

"But, you did you choose the right day, at least. It's Saturday and there's no rush for me to get to school." He tried to lighten the mood.

"Well, thanks. But in the end it was meaningless for us, those cookies are probably burnt to non-existence." Hollow pouted.

"Ah yeah."

But that all changed when something fell on Ichigo's orange hair.

"What the?"

Ichigo grabbed what it was...it was a perfectly baked chocolate-chip cookie.

"Hey, it wasn't pointless after all."

"Huh?" Hollow turned, still sitting.

"Look," Ichigo held it in front of him "You did it." He praised.

Hollow's black and yellow eyes widened. Then a smile made its way on his face. It wasn't creepy, it was a real one.

"No way!" Hollow stood up and took it from his hand.

More cookies began to fall around them.

"I can't believe it, after all that...they made it through the blast." Ichigo beamed.

"May I?" Hollow was asking if he could eat his in hand.

"Hell yeah." Ichigo picked one up.

"Wanna toast it?"

Hollow took a moment to figure out what it meant, then he understood

"Cheers."

Both cookies touched.

* * *

After a little while, both had their fill and planned to pick up what was left over. However they seemed to vanish.

Confused, they searched everywhere.

"Don't tell me you ate all of them?" Ichigo panned.

"No. I swear I didn't take them."

"But who did then-?"

They sensed Zangestu's presence close by and looked to where he was. Somehow all the cookies that were left over were in his arms!

Zangestu began to flash step away.

"ZANGESTU!" Both of them yelled and pulled out their swords and followed him.

 **THE END**


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